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Shades of Loneliness

Shades of loneliness
variations on only-ness,
washed out water colours saturating
the pure white pages of my story,
painting my days in ways
I never intended.
I search in strangers' faces for traces
of tears and smiles earned or lost
in the travellers' miles.

But empty spaces fill some of the places
I have travelled without a map or a guide.
Highways and hill ways
heavenly days, low ways and slow ways
and lanes leading only to hell.
No comfort to be found
even with the sound of my own heartbeat
my lips repeating a silent prayer.

My solace comes
when the words rage out of my mouth
and tumble randomly onto the page
colouring the lines with remnants of life.
I scavenge, I pick and I piece
and it is there that I find
the elusive lyrics to my song,
incandescent notes
indicating that I belong
and somewhere under heaven
there is a place for me to dance.

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