Conversations with Victoria

Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) Column August 20 th 2019 Criticism - sometimes hard to take but often too easy to dish out. Yet criticism can be invaluable in understanding yourself, your emotions and your reactions. Like most things in life we can choose for it to be a positive or a negative experience when on the receiving end. In the best scenarios all criticism would be delivered with empathy and positive words, to engage us rather than confront us. But even when it is not carefully worded, there will be value in it as long as we can control our response.  This is particularly important in work situations - where we have to make sure we keep it in context and be extra vigilant not to take criticism as a personal affront, whether it is about attitude, an idea, a methodology or a project. No-body is right all the time and much as we like to think we are the ones in the right, it never hurts to listen. There will always be alternate points of view whether we agree with them or n

Column for Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) August 13 th 2019 How do we define happiness? If we were asked each of us would probably offer up a different answer or perhaps struggle for the answer. We often seem to think that happiness is or should be a kind of permanent blissful state with no interruptions or downside and that if we don’t feel that way, then something is wrong. If the question were framed differently as in ‘what makes you happy” then we would get a string of answers such as spending time with my family or significant other or my friends, going out for dinner; good things but more often than not it will be shopping for a new purse or a pair of shoes, going to the spa and so on. But some of those are temporary pastimes albeit enjoyable ones and when the ‘high’ or feeling of achievement has worn off, very often we suffer from ‘post-buyer blues’. Eventually we recognise that happiness is not continuous. Human emotions go up and down subject to external happenings and

Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) column for August 6 th 2019 The Change of Life - is a phrase usually applied to women going through menopause and, more often than not, is regarded as a negative happening both during that phase and when it is completed. True, for some women it can be a difficult time with distressing, painful physical and emotional symptoms and much credence has been given historically to the theory ,along with many other myths, that it will automatically make the woman a lesser person, diminished by the fact that childbearing is no longer an option. We need to change that conversation first in our own heads so that we can then influence society’s skewed perception that this is another downhill stop on the route to old age. In today’s world of connectivity there is no logical reason for this thinking. We are living longer, have more access to information, medical help, exercise, diet options, recreation and entrepreneurial opportunities and communicating with each other