Conversations with Victoria

Tribune Nassau, Bahamas column for September 10 th 2019. The headline, a phrase you probably heard more than once growing up, has never been more meaningful than now in the catastrophic wake of Hurricane Dorian. So many residents and international persons, groups and agencies are doing just that acting selflessly - bringing their heart, their strength, their skills to the afflicted islands of The Bahamas, leaving the comfort and safety of their own homes to help wherever possible. Deep gratitude are words that come to mind but I think Archbishop Desmond Tutu described the quality of humanity more aptly when he explained the meaning of the word ‘Ubuntu’ saying that “it speaks of the very essence of being human. We say So-and-so has ubuntu meaning you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly, caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say - my humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up in yours’. We belong in a bundle of life. We say a person is a ...

Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) Column August 20 th 2019 Criticism - sometimes hard to take but often too easy to dish out. Yet criticism can be invaluable in understanding yourself, your emotions and your reactions. Like most things in life we can choose for it to be a positive or a negative experience when on the receiving end. In the best scenarios all criticism would be delivered with empathy and positive words, to engage us rather than confront us. But even when it is not carefully worded, there will be value in it as long as we can control our response.  This is particularly important in work situations - where we have to make sure we keep it in context and be extra vigilant not to take criticism as a personal affront, whether it is about attitude, an idea, a methodology or a project. No-body is right all the time and much as we like to think we are the ones in the right, it never hurts to listen. There will always be alternate points of view whether we agree with them ...

Column for Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) August 13 th 2019 How do we define happiness? If we were asked each of us would probably offer up a different answer or perhaps struggle for the answer. We often seem to think that happiness is or should be a kind of permanent blissful state with no interruptions or downside and that if we don’t feel that way, then something is wrong. If the question were framed differently as in ‘what makes you happy” then we would get a string of answers such as spending time with my family or significant other or my friends, going out for dinner; good things but more often than not it will be shopping for a new purse or a pair of shoes, going to the spa and so on. But some of those are temporary pastimes albeit enjoyable ones and when the ‘high’ or feeling of achievement has worn off, very often we suffer from ‘post-buyer blues’. Eventually we recognise that happiness is not continuous. Human emotions go up and down subject to external happenings and ...

Tribune (Nassau, Bahamas) column for August 6 th 2019 The Change of Life - is a phrase usually applied to women going through menopause and, more often than not, is regarded as a negative happening both during that phase and when it is completed. True, for some women it can be a difficult time with distressing, painful physical and emotional symptoms and much credence has been given historically to the theory ,along with many other myths, that it will automatically make the woman a lesser person, diminished by the fact that childbearing is no longer an option. We need to change that conversation first in our own heads so that we can then influence society’s skewed perception that this is another downhill stop on the route to old age. In today’s world of connectivity there is no logical reason for this thinking. We are living longer, have more access to information, medical help, exercise, diet options, recreation and entrepreneurial opportunities and communicating with each other...

Written for the Tribune, Nassau, Bahamas. July 23rd 2019. The title of this column is deliberately ambiguous to enable a conversation about my two intended meanings: the necessity of so-called ‘networking’ for business purposes and when or how it does or doesn’t work, with particular emphasis on how women perceive the use of networking. The following viewpoint, my own, may well be controversial as it is the opposite of current conventional thinking. My personal bias as a female who has had a diverse business background, is that (a) I really dislike the word ‘networking’ and (b) how it is used exclusively by women as if we collectively need some sort of special help to navigate the world of business. Perhaps in some instances we do but I have never heard a man or a group of businessmen use that word. Yet they make connections which may come in useful in their particular line of work and call upon those contacts when appropriate, but they make them in the ordinary course of thei...

Tribune column for July 16 th 2019. Change of any kind is an adventure. The question is how you view this challenge? Is your attitude towards it positive, to be anticipated with excitement and interest as to the outcome or does it seem frightening and uncomfortable? The answer for most people will probably be a bit of both. Whether we decide to make certain changes or whether they happen to us and they will, we have to learn how to handle them for the best possible outcome, even in a negative situation.  Obviously there’s good change and bad change, some changes are small and others bigger but either way change of any kind exerts stress on us and while it can be energy draining, our attitude will make the difference to our reaction either enhancing or diminishing its impact on us. We can change the kind of clothes we wear, our lipstick, or our nail polish - little things that may lift our spirits - or we can take a day off and go sit in the sun, visit with a friend or s...